When I was 32, I tried to commit suicide. That is a shocking and almost unbelievable statement for someone who feels so happy, self-realized and fulfilled, twenty years after my darkest night of the soul.
As millions of women in this world, I was raised to be the wife of a husband and the mother of a family. My rancid traditional conditioning led me to believe that my main purpose in life was to serve and care for all those I loved, without including myself on that list.
After twelve years of living the “life of my dreams”, having two healthy and beautiful daughters, a millionaire and powerful husband, a promising professional career, and everything that money could buy, I hit rock bottom and one night under the influence I decided I didn’t want to live anymore.
Now that I’ve learned so much about myself, I fully understand why I became an alcoholic, and why I was feeling so depressed. I had been looking for my happiness on the outside. I had been taught to believe people and things could give me the sense of fulfillment and inner peace I dreamed of, but what about my true purpose in life? Deep inside I knew there had to be more than being a wife, a mom, and a professional. What about the love that deep inside I knew I wasn’t offering to my own Self?
The next morning after I almost took my life, I realized something BIG had to shift and I remember saying to myself “I am the one who got me here so I am the only one who can get me out.” That day I promised myself to stop looking for happiness, love, purpose, and wellbeing on the outside, and start creating it from within.
The journey wasn’t easy but it has been miraculous to say the least. After many wonderful books, workshops, retreats, gurus, and masters who every time offered me a new piece to complete with great patience and determination my own jigsaw puzzle, I learned to differentiate between my egoic mind and my true Self. Once I was able to master my ego, I started creating a new life story, one that was led my heart.
One of the most important lessons I have learned is that we are all capable of transforming our life stories once we are ready to believe we are powerful and worthy beings of Light born to experience only the best and not settle for less.
As many when they hear my story, you might be thinking that all this is easier said than done. I can only say that if someone like me, who once was in the darkest of all places, was able to elevate herself to this place of fulfillment I now experience, anyone can.
We are all here to live the before and after versions of ourselves, all in one single lifetime. The moment we are ready for that transformation, the universe brings everything we need to become who we truly came to be.
My current definitions of happiness and success no longer depend on the external world. These days it all comes from within me and that has given me the type of freedom I always wanted to live. The way life works is that if you feel happy and successful on the inside you will create a happy and successful reality in return. This works every single time because by natural law, “as within so without.” Once you apply this principle in your world, you begin understanding what miracles are all about.
Every single day is a new adventure that I experience with deepest gratitude and joy. I am honored to share this day with you and I hope that just like me, you too are choosing the path of self-love that your heart is offering you at all times.
Roxana Jones is an international life coach, energy healer, rebirther, and best-selling author. She lives in Miami, FL from where she continues to help thousands of people around the world to empower themselves and experience happier, more fulfilling and successful lives.